amusey_prompts Prompt 1 - Apps

[alexa_bond_carter]

I would create an app that emits a siren, and flashing lights, any time one of my bastard exes is in the same damn hemisphere. If Methos is in Seacouver? WHOOWHOOWHOO!!!

Blue light to go with his makeup from Horseman days. BOOM!

If Aramis is flitting around Los Angeles? WAAAAAAHWAAAAAAAHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yellow lights and maybe some churchy music...BOOM!

And if Marcus Carterus Cassius Albifrickingbinus lands his happy ass in New York, or goes to make love to his artifact junk at that cabin in Canada? BOOMCHICKABOWWOW!

RED LIGHTS, BITCHES! My I Phone would shake like a whore in church. BOOM!

See...that's the key, ladies. You want to avoid your bad past choices in life? You need to just create an app that allows you to always stay half a planet away from them. Because you know what happens? I'll tell you...pay attention.

You are just going through life, happy as a clam. You go to a bar, or a jazz club? You are minding your own business, and then they show up with their great abs or puppy eyes...and pretty soon you are remembering all of the earth shattering sex that you had in hammocks or at Disneyland. Then you remember how much you loved them, how much of your heart they owned. And then, girls, you are screwed...literally and figuratively. Nope...

Much better to make that app. When I sober up, I am definitely going to do that.

But not tonight...tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

Comments

[call_me_klaus]

Niklaus notices the blonde at the bar, remembering what Sophie Deveraux said about the new witch in the French Quarter. He takes the barstool beside her, and signals the bartender to bring them both drinks.

"Quite brave, a witch out in the Quarter, at this hour. Brave or foolish, given Marcel's rules." He lays a hundred dollar bill on the bar, before picking up his glass of very good Scotch. "Allow me to introduce myself...Niklaus Mikaelson."

[alexa_bond_carter]

Handsome, certainly, though she preferred her men more...Mark...more muscled. Damn him! Every man is now measured by the one that left. Alexa's eyes were slightly red, more than she had ever been.

"I know who you are. You killed a friend of mine, Katie. I inherited her shop." Alexa ignored the Scotch he poured her. Scotch, whiskey...it all reminded her of the taste of Mark. Just the smell made her heart ache. "If Marcel wants to play with me, tell him to come by the Jardin Gris. He'll find me a much more formidable opponent than sweet little Katie."

The bartender brought her a tequila sunrise, and she took a long sip. This hybrid reminded her more than a bit of Methos. Same body type, same prissy English accent. "So...has Marcel figured out that you are after his throne?"

[call_me_klaus]

"You are quite mistaken, luv. Marcel and I are old friends. Poor Katie tried to kill Marcel, and I had little choice." His smooth smile was a bit forced, as Klaus wasn't used to women being so direct with him. "Speaking of formidable witches, Marcel has control of one that informs him when you lot do magic in The Quarter. You might want to be careful."

Even with her red eyes, she was a beauty. Niklaus could well imagine her under him.

[alexa_bond_carter]

Alexa lifted her hand from her drink, and let a fireball turn different colors in her palm. "Yes...the teenaged Harvest girl. Davina is a child. I have been doing magic for quite some time, and she can't tell. Marcel's arrogance would be his downfall, except that you will stab him in the back long before I feel any need to destroy the King of the Vampires." The flames took various form, of cats and dancing women, before she closed her fist.

She was lonely. Damn it all to Hell, she was horny. This hybrid might be a mistake, but if she didn't get laid, soon, she was going to lose her fucking mind. "So...my place? By the way, this is sex. You try to feed on me, and I will leave you with fewer appendages than you came in with."

[call_me_klaus]

Niklaus watched the fireball, his cock hardening with both lust and plots of how he could use this lovely little witch to his own purposes. He could unlink Haley from Sophie, as well as undermine Marcel with the more dodgy witches in the city. Pouring another double of Scotch, he sipped, smiling, until he realized that she was inviting him over for sex.

It hadn't been this easy to pick up a blonde for a while.

Or was she picking him up?

"Luv, I am a gentleman! I never feed on bedmates without permission." He rose, taking the half bottle of Scotch, and held out his hand. "By all means, milady, lead the way."

[a_god_of_the_arena]

The man stepped out from the shadows, blocking the hybrid from exiting the door. He was not taller, but his muscular presence bore true physical menace.

"This woman is not of mind or heart for the likes of you."

The words were old fashioned, in phrase, and soft in tone. However, his eyes were deadly in intent. Gannicus knew he could not kill this...beast. However, he would enjoy the spilling of blood. It had been too long.

"See yourself to solitary bed, or other companions."

[alexa_bond_carter]

Alexa rolled her eyes. Gannicus! The man was a pest, considering himself some kind of bodyguard ever since she fled Rome.

"You are not my father, or my husband. I don't need you to play bodyguard."

Fuck, but this could get messy. The gladiator versus the hybrid. If she were more drunk and less in need of sex, she might actually enjoy watching that match.

"Go back to your room at the shop."

[call_me_klaus]

So the little witch has a knight? Niklaus knew another ancient when he met one. He did not smell like vampire or wolf, however. Perhaps he was one of those creatures who called themselves Immortals.

"Chivalry isn't dead! But the lady is old enough to choose her lovers." Klaus smirked, putting his arm around her waist. The nightwalkers and patrons in the bar tensed, sensing impending violence. "No need to fret, mate, I have no wishes to harm your...boss?"

It might be fun to test the effects of his bite on this one. He had encountered so few of that lot.

[a_god_of_the_arena]

"You are fortunate that your husband is not the man in your path. If memory serves me, the Roman would have laid this bar to ash and shit, for a man placing his hand upon wife." Gannicus shook his head at Alexa. He could understand a need for release. She was alone, grieving the loss of a love she thought would be forever. But this was far too dangerous, even if she was both immortal and witch.

Gannicus turned his gaze from his employer, to potential prey. "I would suspect that you bring harm of some kind to all women you meet. Do you not have a pregnant bitch in your den? Go find that one, or other bitches, for your beast desires. The lady is not for you."

Gannicus moved his hands to his waist, where the hilts of his matched swords waited. Two nightwalkers rose from their barstools, and Gannicus chuckled, grinning with anticipation and pleasure. Not the sands of the arena, but he would enjoy a good contest, all the same.

"I will not ask again..."

[alexa_bond_carter]

"Oh for fuck's sake." Alexa had become quite good at swearing, since meeting her former husband. Shaking off Niklaus' hand from her waist, she took two steps back, glaring at them both. Drunk? Yes. Heartbroken? Most certainly.

Helpless little damsel?

No fucking way. Cassius had taught her too much for her to ever be helpless, ever again.

She raised her hands, pointed at both of the men who thought she could not make her own decisions. Screaming, blinding pain seared through every nerve, and their bodies lifted up, two feet in the air.

The nightwalkers had the good sense to step back, but Alexa knew that Marcel would hear about her within the hour. Her cloaked existence was done. No matter. Alexa was no shrinking violet, not with this unfettered rage that always threatened to choke her last breath from her. All of the nights where she dreamed of Mark, where she was certain she could kiss his chest if she just turned her head...only to wake up clutching her pillow instead of the man...the only man who still made her cry. All of the hurt and anger poured from her palms, and then she flipped her wrists, as if snatching the air thick around them, and they both dropped to the floor, necks broken.

"I am sick of the commands of men."

Alexa walked out, towards the Jardin Gris.

Fuck them all.